Stupid things about Apple, post 7: 'iPods are made using Chinese slaves.'

I love Apple, and I looove the iPod, they're everywhere, in fact I farted yesterday which put me in the draw to win an iPod. OK, so they're a little excessive in capacity (name 1,000 songs, now what are you going to do with the space for the other 9,000?), and since everyone has an iPod (even the PC guy in the Mac/PC ads) technically they can't be cool.

Stupid things about Apple, post 6: 'PC is the true star of the Mac/PC ads.'

I love Apple, but it seams that Apple loves PC more than Mac, and the evidence is so glaringly obvious, that this post will be an insulting reiteration of what you know to be true, (look into your heart).

Here's how it plays out in all the Mac/PC ads...

Stupid things about Apple, post 6: 'Google.'

Check out the new Apple frontpage!

I love Apple, but it's true, Apple is pimping itself out to THE bubble stock, whose whole corporate model is built entirely on intangibles (things that you cannot tangible). Let's build the house on sand!

Apple on the other hand, actually MAKE things and SELL them.

Stupid things about Apple, post 5: 'Rebranding your competition's crap.'

I love Apple, so I know (better than you) that Apple's history of rebranding has been nothing short of disastrous, in fact at it's peak, rebranding almost brought Apple down. Dumb, dumb, dumb.

The history goes like this (I'm working from memory here so bare with me if there are inaccuracies loser);
- LaserWriter (and all other Apple printers) was a rebranded Canon printer, and was one of a number of items which almost dragged Apple to the bottom of the ocean. They don't make those any more.
- QuickTake (an Apple digital camera) was a rebranded Fuji camera, again, a disaster.
- Apple Color OneScanner (an Apple scanner) was a rebranded Canon scanner, the CanoScan. The OneScanner sleeps with the ancestors.

Stupid things about Apple, post 4: 'Steve Jobs is a Creative Zen buddhist.'

I love Apple, but I couldn't help myself. This is Steve making a donation to the religion he's a part of, he's a buddhist, Zen is a type of buddhism, therefore his $100,000,000 out of court 'settlement' is really him skimming funds to promote his religion.

Stupid things about Apple, post 3: 'Greed is Good, now, Bend Over Share Holders!'

I love Apple... an interpretation of a great movie moment follows...

Stupid things about Apple, post 2: 'Apple is Doomed because Phil Schiller is Fat.'

I love Apple, just like you, which is why I worry that Steve's liver cancer will flare up again, and we'll have to watch keynotes by Phil Schiller, who is Apple’s senior vice president of Worldwide Product Marketing. Marketing, isn't that all about presentation, like, not being grosely overweight, bouncing all over the stage like an application's icon trying to get your attention from the dock?

Stupid things about Apple, post 1: 'Leopard is Dalmatian'

I know you love Apple, because I love Apple, and because we share this special love, I know you know that I don't mean any harm when I post this.

Apple Computer's graphic for Leopard looks more like Dalmatian, or maybe cow, but not Leopard, unless you're severely colourblind, which you're not, and if you are and you're reading this, how do you manage in traffic?