Stupid things about Apple, post 13: 'Apple + Media = Mutual Masturbation'

Disclaimer: Metaphorically NSFW.

I love Apple, like 'I (heart) Apple' but there's this nasty nasty thing which has been going on since, like forever, and I keep waiting for someone to call them on it, but they never do, so I like thought, 'hey. I'll say something on my blog...which no one reads...' and it's this...

Stupid things about Apple, post 12: 'Brad Stone'

Here's an email I sent to Brad Stone;

"I bet you got a lot of hate mail because you ruined everything for Dan Lyons and all the readers of the fake Steve Jobs blog.

I hope you don't take it too personally, Apple fans can be pretty mean. It can't be easy, I totally understand how rough this might be for you...

Stupid things about Apple, post 11: 'Innovation'

I love Apple, more than you do, or ever will, (and I'd fight you to prove it), but there's a thorn in my side, and it's named innovation, and I can't seem to shake just how stupid it really is.

1. First, you run the risk of failing, because you're breaking new ground and making leaps of faith. Sure these can pay off (iPod) but they can also burn you, (Newton, Cube, turtle necks).

Stupid things about Apple, post 10: 'Apple Rumor Sites'

I love Apple, and everything about it, even the bit where Steve Jobs marries Sir Paul McCartney, wait, wouldn't that make it Lady Steve McCartney. Sweet.

Stupid things about Apple, post 9: 'Reflective Surfaces℠ '

I love Apple, like the sun on my face. Truly, it's love, I can't shake it. Like a gentle breeze on a long warm day...

Stupid things about Apple, post 8: 'Despite your assassination attempt, I LIVE!'

Yes, I have been in hospital, at death's door for months.

But I write these words and shake my fist, and proclaim,

"I love Apple, but the iPhone! WTF?"

Give me a few days to catch up on what you've all been enjoying while I've been eating through a straw and regaining the ability to control my limbs.

; )