Stupid things about Apple, post 10: 'Apple Rumor Sites'

I love Apple, and everything about it, even the bit where Steve Jobs marries Sir Paul McCartney, wait, wouldn't that make it Lady Steve McCartney. Sweet.




Now that's a rumor I'm interested in, not the kind of rumors which get dished up though are they...? No. The rumors you and I are used to reading are so incredibly dull, 'New iMacs to be revealed at WWDC.' Yawn. 'MacBooks Rumored to sport LED driven displays.' Dull. 'New iPods small enough to stick in your a-hole without lube.' Somewhat interesting, but you know what the posts on that one would be like, "They'd have to make it waterproof; What about rounder edges; They couldn't make the cable for the headphones white, it would stain; Etc, etc..."

The best Apple rumors are about Steve, how the company's run, secret dealings with Bill Gates, how and when Apple even started. But the best rumor about Apple is the *fact* that the Woz we know isn't the original Woz, but a replacement Woz, 'coz the real Woz was killed in Aus, and fake Woz took real Woz's pos. The signs are everywhere, which I will now share with you;

First look at some of these pictures.

1.a. Here, the real Woz has bad posture, one can only assume that posture gets worse with age...













1.b. but in this shot where 'Woz' is older, his posture is FAR BETTER! This cannot be the same man!!!

















2.a. Here we see Woz with David Lee Roth, wait, it gets worse...













2.b. Here is the fake Woz years later, posing with a NOBODY! Who does that? NOONE! As celebrities age, they climb the scales into higher circles of celebrity. What they DON'T do, is go from haning out with David Lee Roth, to hanging out with a retarded guy in goggles. It does not happen, this can't be the same guy.









3.a. Here we see Woz working his electronic magic. If you look carefully, you'll see that he is standing up. Keep this in mind when you see the next picture, of a completely different 'Woz.'













3.b. Whoever this guy is, he's clearly not Woz, because Woz either STOOD UP or SAT DOWN to work with electronics, he NEVER crawled around at dick level, looking like a cross between an Ewok and a homeless guy.

You'll also see that the background in the two pictures is completely different. More proof that this is not Steve 'Woz' Wozniak. Whoever this dog-man is, he should be exposed (not literally) to the world for the FRAUD he is!









I had more, but I heard there was going to be a processor speed-bump in the new Mac mini, and I have to cruise over to http://www.imakeshitupaboutappleproductreleasesandpostitonthissiteforyouandyour
mothertoreadallaboutandpoststupidhypotheticalsaboutproductsyou'llneverbuybuthavean
opiniononbecauseyoulovethesoundofyourowntypingandtheconceptthatyoucanreadsomething
youwroteyourselfonlinemakesyouhorny.com