Stupid things about Apple, post 17: Steve is in Heaven.

I ♥ Apple so much, I have resorted to using the ♥ symbol, and I think I ♥ Steve too.

I have to say that the latest WWDC truck-load of iOS and OSX feature releases almost distracted me from worrying about how sick Steve looks.  I mean, he looks really, really sick.  He even sounded sick, like deathbed sick.  I kept waiting for him to reach for the oxygen, or start telling us how much he loves us, and not to worry, because he is going to a better place.  But then I realised...for Steve, there is no better place.

Steve's a Buddhist, they don't believe in life after death or heaven or any of that contrived shit.  They're all about the 'now' and 'going with the flow' and 'mastering themselves and their lives and stuff.' Well, if you had to point to a moment where someone was at the absolute pinnacle of their life, on top of their (and everybody else's) game, and were just repeatedly kicking the proverbial ass over and over and over again, it's be Steve doing his thing at this month's WWDC.  So if he dies tomorrow, he'll be able to go knowing he has truly lived, and I think (seriously) that no one will ever be able to write Apple's value (market or influence) down a cent if he did, because people like that don't stop influencing and leading thought after they die, and it's Apple's thinking which makes it what is it.

Stupid things about Apple, post 16: iPad 2 shortages explained.

I love Apple, so much so that I convinced one of my friends to name their kid Apple. True story.  Which reminds me, there's been a lot of chatter around the iPad 2 shortages, and I wanted to offer an opinion explanation which should put your mind at ease.

Stupid things about Apple, post 15.b: Ongoing speculation about Steve's health

I love Apple, just like you (and if you don't then you're in the closet about it, and you know it), but we're witnessing the down side of the rumor mill. Rumors fuel interest, if you're in marketing, this is good if the interest is possitive, but if the interest is negative, then you get smacked down.

Now the rumor mill is saying that Steve isn't doing Macworld because he's seriously ill, which could be true, if it was, Apple would have said so wouldn't they? I'd assume so, they've never lied to us before, you always get what you pay for and more with Apple on the product front...

Anyway, I maintain that only a robot, vampire or God is the only true candidate
to run a religion great corporation like Apple.

Stupid things about Apple, post 15: 'Speculation about the death of Steve Jobs'

I love Apple, not just because I can spell it, there are other reasons which I'm not willing to go into right now...it's complicated.

That said, I've made a few observations recenty regarding speculation about whether Steve Jobs is dying or not. Well I have it on good authority that he is, in fact, dying, right now, as I type this.

Stupid things about Apple, post 14: 'WebObjects Haikus'

I love WebObjects,
You might not understand this,
But a great story.

It was made by NeXT,
Then Apple tried to sell it,
Now you get it free.

Stupid things about Apple, post 13: 'Apple + Media = Mutual Masturbation'

Disclaimer: Metaphorically NSFW.

I love Apple, like 'I (heart) Apple' but there's this nasty nasty thing which has been going on since, like forever, and I keep waiting for someone to call them on it, but they never do, so I like thought, 'hey. I'll say something on my blog...which no one reads...' and it's this...

Stupid things about Apple, post 12: 'Brad Stone'

Here's an email I sent to Brad Stone;

"I bet you got a lot of hate mail because you ruined everything for Dan Lyons and all the readers of the fake Steve Jobs blog.

I hope you don't take it too personally, Apple fans can be pretty mean. It can't be easy, I totally understand how rough this might be for you...

Stupid things about Apple, post 11: 'Innovation'

I love Apple, more than you do, or ever will, (and I'd fight you to prove it), but there's a thorn in my side, and it's named innovation, and I can't seem to shake just how stupid it really is.

1. First, you run the risk of failing, because you're breaking new ground and making leaps of faith. Sure these can pay off (iPod) but they can also burn you, (Newton, Cube, turtle necks).

Stupid things about Apple, post 10: 'Apple Rumor Sites'

I love Apple, and everything about it, even the bit where Steve Jobs marries Sir Paul McCartney, wait, wouldn't that make it Lady Steve McCartney. Sweet.

Stupid things about Apple, post 9: 'Reflective Surfaces℠ '

I love Apple, like the sun on my face. Truly, it's love, I can't shake it. Like a gentle breeze on a long warm day...